


Sludge

by HoloXam



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, RQG155, RQG156, Suicidal Thoughts, allusions to Sasha, because Ben won't let me live, honestly just depression brainsoup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoloXam/pseuds/HoloXam
Summary: Zolf is good at exactly one thing, and that thing is taking a beating. He can takeloadsof beatings.(In which the author works out some feelings about Zolf.)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Sludge

She's gone. She's gone and she's gone and she's gone, and—

It's too much. It's always entirely too much. 

Zolf is good at exactly one thing, and that thing is taking a beating. He can take _loads_ of beatings. Someone (apparently), the gods (probably), will not let him die. 

Drowned. Buried. Cut to pieces. Struck by lightning. He's too stubborn to give up a fight staring him in the face, blessed (cursed) with a will to keep banging his head against an adamantine wall until it all crumbles around him. 

He's good at that. Standing around in the rubble. 

_She's gone._

As long as things keep hitting him from all sides, he can forget about it. Keep things moving, keep himself going, one more mad dash against the coming storm, and it's _fine._ It is just _fine._ Everyone's broken when the world is crumbling around them, and the entire operation is hopeless, but it's something to do. 

When it's quiet, it's really not fine. 

The sun is shining, and it's not fine at all. 

If it had still been raining, at least the black, sludgy pool of _not fine_ would be camouflaged by the grey of the sky and the howling wind, but no. No more soothing rain. It's a calm, beautiful day, sunlight dancing on the gentle waves of an ocean Zolf no longer has any faith in. 

Things are improving. Zolf is not. 

He curls up on his side, dragging his blanket over his head. Sleep, at least, comes easy. In the night, out of the horrible, sickly gentle light, maybe he can breathe a little easier. 

He closes his eyes and waits. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Sludge [podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25590082) by [KD reads (KDHeart)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDHeart/pseuds/KD%20reads)




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